NOBODY LIKES A SMART ASS



This m3 was inspired by my friend’s dad.

Growing up, no matter what group of friends I had there was always one kid who had the "hang out house." It was great! No matter what we were or weren't doing, it was just cool to be around other ass-bag kids like yourself. 

You know, it's kinda weird that no matter how old I get and how many groups of friends I had, the conversation never really changed... talk of which girl has the biggest boobs and how many you have touched (knowing you just asked me the same question two hours ago with the answer still being “10k”), or how many fights you have won, with that number changing day to day depending on who was around that could call your bull jit…and do you think this stick could be a ninja sword/machine gun/rocket launcher/ flamethrower/hedge trimmer/dog pooh cleaner-offer. 

 Some families were okay with having a house full of kids. They got their kid to stay home—but at the cost of having his degenerate friends hanging out there as well, and sometimes even having to tote a truck load of kids along when they went somewhere. It was a filthy game of give-and-take. We all had to play on both sides of the court (parents vs. kids).

Some of the kids I hung around growing up possessed special powers. Powers of being capable of saying things like “please,” and “thank you.” Others had the more popular gift of mouthing off and getting away with it. I think for the most part we all were being facetious, but we'd brag about how one of us with this super power would hit the jackpot and be eligible for the "BIG CHUCKLE" of the day award. Whenever one of us earned such a prestigious award all the rest had to hear about "that one time" for years to come.

   In our group, just like every group of friends I’ve ever seen, was the kid who shared less of these “super powers.” They still felt like they could mouth off, thinking they too held such powers, and would be in the running for the “Chuckle.” You know the type—they saw a kid with "The Power" get away with something once, so they figure they can do it too, even though they can't read a situation well enough to know just how stupid it is to even try.

Well, there was this one story floating around among us kids about an un-gifted friend. I can't confirm this story to be true, but I do believe it in my heart that it is.

My friend’s dad had a crazy temper, he could lose it at any second.  Being around him was like petting an angry badger you just smeared with mayo and smacked with a stick for the last hour, while throwing up gang signs. Nobody really messed with this guy.  He was a great dad, don't get me wrong. He would do anything for his kids and his kids’ friends. You just knew not to pop off when you were anywhere near him.

One night he had taken some of the other friends to a sporting event. On the way home the old man was lecturing the oldest son on why badgers hate gang signs and mayo. The old man was balls-deep in his lecture, I'm guessing hitting mid stride by this time into the talk. One of the friends in the car puts his hands together and starts rubbing them together violently, warming them up like he's getting ready to go perform on stage for the ultimate “BIG CHUCKLE” award.

From how the story was told to me, he mouths off “ Yeah blah blah (son's name) be a little more re....” Mid-sentence he was cut-off by the sounds of BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR as the car goes flying sideways down the road, laying four black trails behind! The car rocked to a stop with the smell of four tires whose life span just got cut by several thousand miles filling the air. As the dad turned around, all the air was sucked out of the car like a nuclear bomb had just gone off.

I DON'T NEED YOUR *&%$#@ HELP YOU &%$@! MONKEY *&%$#  I &%$#@ SUCK MY *&%$#@! MOTHER *&%$#@ FAMILY OF *&%$#@! LAWNMOWER *&%$#@! MY HORSE *&%$#@! SIZE 9 *&%$#@! MEOW *&%$#@! KALAMAZOO *&%$#@! PUMP JOCKEY*&%$#@! BEANS ARE TASTY *&%$#@! ONCE I HAD *&%$#@! BIGHELPER *&% GIGLET*%$#@ BUTT WHOLE *&%$#

TROUT OF BROWN *&%$#@! TURD &^%$#@! CAN'T TOUCH THIS *&^%$#@! SCRATCH N SNIFF *&$# DINNER IS READY *&$#@! 4 WARN WEATHER *%$#@!

I'm not sure how long it went on for but I could only imagine.

It was a silent night oh holy night ride home.

Nobody Likes a Smart Ass (Not Even m3)

In this shot, it felt like a thousand degrees of heat in my car. I made this mid-summer and it was sticky and icky. I took 5 frames just to get the right angry face and I also added a pretty badass tat on my arm. The other 2 m3s came out pretty good first go-round. I didn't have to mess with them much. I was wearing the same clothes in all the shots just changed them in the Photoshop.

In most of my m3s I stick my Big Helper logo hidden in different places for fun. Maybe you can find them?

Thanks again for taking the time to read my goofy stories of my m3s.

Check back regular-like and I'll keep ‘em coming.

I do stuff

Christoph

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